I'll like to start this post by saying Merry Christmas and Happy New year in advance.
I give all the glory to God for keeping me and my family till date. It is really of His mercies that we are not consumed. With that said, I'll like us to look at things that the older children must know about Christmas.
What is the true meaning of Christmas?
Children must understand that the true meaning of Christmas is Christ. And so the birthday boy is Jesus Christ, the Lord of lords and the Kings of kings. What this means is that, the birthday boy MUST be invited to His birthday. Unfortunately, in most families the Birthday boy is usually kept in the backyard far away from the birthday celebrations and in most cases a lot forget to invite Him by their actions and mode of celebration.
Let me explain:
(i) You cannot overlook the importance of making your children understand their need for Jesus Christ to be the Lord and saviour of their lives in case they have not given their lives to Him. Again, you cannot give what you don't have and so if you have not given your life to Jesus Christ you need to take this crucial step so that you can help your children.
Why do I need to give my life to Christ? This is because the scriptures says in John 3:16 'For God so love the world that He gave His only begotten son that whosoever believeth in Him should not perish but have everlasting life. This is the real meaning of Christmas. Accepting God's Gift into your life. Making Jesus Christ, the gift of God your own Lord and saviour. This is the starting point.
(ii) How convenient is Xmas: I do not support spelling Christmas as Xmas because X is a variable and why remove the 'Christ' which is referring to Jesus. No wonder people conveniently practice all manner of evil like drunkenness, fornication, adultery, gluttony, disobedience e.t.c. all in the name of celebrating Xmas. And so our children must be made to understand this truth; that all forms of celebrations relating to Christmasmust glorify God.
(iii)What about Christmas wears?
Well would you celebrate the Birthday of the Lord of lords
in the attire of an harlot? Proverb 7:10 tells us about a certain woman with the attire of an harlot....what this means is that some certain wears are associated with 'Harlots' no matter what you call it.
Children must be properly dressed for Christmas celebrations.
Conclusively, it is only decent to carry the name of the Lord in high esteem not only at Christmas but as long as we shall live. Let your children STAND OUT of the crowd!
Friday, December 23, 2011
Wednesday, December 14, 2011
Stop keeping up with the Joneses!
This is one of the longest topics I have ever written about.
Come to think of it a lot of parents want their children to be like the Joneses consciously or unconsciously. I am not saying that it is not good to emulate good examples. No, what I am saying is that your child does not have to study medicine because the Joneses' son is currently in science class and he plans to study medicine.
The following might likely be the reasons why most parents might want to keep
up with the Joneses:
(i)Inferiority Complex: The worse complex to deal with is inferiority complex. It is a form of complex that makes you feel inadequate until you do what others are doing. And the more you try to meet up the more frustrated and delusion you get.
This is a major reason why most people want to do this or that just to keep up with the Joneses.
(ii) Comparison Syndrome: The word of God says in 2Cor 10:12 and I quote 'For we dare
not make ourselves of the number, or compare ourselves with some
that commend themselves:but they measuring themselves by themselves,
and comparing themselves among themselves,are not wise'.
Simply put, do not compare your children with the Joneses
because they have their own divine destinies to fulfil.
(iii)False sense of belonging: Some parents just feel that they must belong to a particular 'class' and so their children must comply whether they like it or not.
There are many other reasons that time will fail me to list out here. But whatever your reasons are, I am sure it will not be good enough to deny your children of their individuality and the right of expression.
Your role as a parent is to guide these children along a Godly and purposeful path to fulfilling their divine destines in life and not to distort their destinies by believing that they just must be like the Joneses. By the way who are the Joneses? The dictionary defines the Joneses as one's neighbours, friends, business associates, etc.'.
Conclusively, keeping up with the Joneses has NEVER landed anybody in the
promise land but it sure has landed a lot where they never bargained for.
Come to think of it a lot of parents want their children to be like the Joneses consciously or unconsciously. I am not saying that it is not good to emulate good examples. No, what I am saying is that your child does not have to study medicine because the Joneses' son is currently in science class and he plans to study medicine.
The following might likely be the reasons why most parents might want to keep
up with the Joneses:
(i)Inferiority Complex: The worse complex to deal with is inferiority complex. It is a form of complex that makes you feel inadequate until you do what others are doing. And the more you try to meet up the more frustrated and delusion you get.
This is a major reason why most people want to do this or that just to keep up with the Joneses.
(ii) Comparison Syndrome: The word of God says in 2Cor 10:12 and I quote 'For we dare
not make ourselves of the number, or compare ourselves with some
that commend themselves:but they measuring themselves by themselves,
and comparing themselves among themselves,are not wise'.
Simply put, do not compare your children with the Joneses
because they have their own divine destinies to fulfil.
(iii)False sense of belonging: Some parents just feel that they must belong to a particular 'class' and so their children must comply whether they like it or not.
There are many other reasons that time will fail me to list out here. But whatever your reasons are, I am sure it will not be good enough to deny your children of their individuality and the right of expression.
Your role as a parent is to guide these children along a Godly and purposeful path to fulfilling their divine destines in life and not to distort their destinies by believing that they just must be like the Joneses. By the way who are the Joneses? The dictionary defines the Joneses as one's neighbours, friends, business associates, etc.'.
Conclusively, keeping up with the Joneses has NEVER landed anybody in the
promise land but it sure has landed a lot where they never bargained for.
Tuesday, November 15, 2011
The Role of a Dad in Parenting
Everyone knows that the traditional role of a dad is to provide for his family. This is usually achieved by taking up a paid employment. Other ways of achieving this is by owning your own business. The ultimate goal is to find a means of providing food, clothing and shelter for the family. But beyond this, I’ll like you to read the extract below:
A dad is respected because he gives his children leadership.
A dad is appreciated because he gives his children care.
A dad is valued because he gives his children time.
A dad is loved because he gives his children the one thing they treasure most-himself.
I recently read the above somewhere and I could not help but to keep thinking about each line. Let’s look at the first line which says ‘A dad is respected because he gives his children leadership’ the question is do you give your children leadership or do you boss them around? Making them feel like one of your tenants. Or do you take your time to truly lead them in the right path, be it spiritual, physical, academicals, social, moral e.t.c.
The second line says ‘A dad is appreciated because he gives his children care’ Do you really care about your kids? Children like any other human beings require great care. This way you are able to win their trust and appreciation as a beloved Dad.
The third line says ‘A dad is valued because he gives his children time’ Time is of the essence. Do you make out time for your children or are you forever busy with your secular job while neglecting to create time for your children? These are questions you must answer if you must be a successful Dad.
Finally, ‘A dad is loved because he gives his children the one thing they treasure most-himself’ This is where most dad fails because they are so busy working and working to make money to provide for the family that they have even forgotten to interact with the same family.
Come to think of it, what is the sense behind hording yourself from your children. When I was growing up, I longed to have my dad around in my trying times and also at my best times but it never happened. I think that a dad ought to know that it really takes very little to make a child happy. Simply make yourself available by breaking down all walls of tough and unfriendly face. Smile more; come closer to your children. Let them know that they have you. You’ll be surprised that you are more than a treasure to your kids.
Monday, November 7, 2011
Stop that pampering NOW!
There is a bugging question I'll like us to consider below:
Are we as parents accountable to God concerning the children that He has given to us?
Unfortunately, most parents don't like to consider this aspect. Of course you must have heard this saying 'You've got your OWN life to live'. Notice that I have laid emphasis on the word 'own' to call your attention to the fact that some or most parents as the case may be feel unconcerned about what God thinks about the role they are supposed to play to make their children better members of the society.
On the other hand the above statement might be true but can you recall what happened to Eli (I Sam.3) when he failed to play the part that he was expected to play in the lives of his two sons? The result is that God cursed him and the priesthood was taken away from his lineage FOREVER. I will like you to pay serious attention to the fact that God is not partial; He is not a respecter of anybody. Gal.6:7 says 'Do not be deceived God is not mocked for whatsoever a man sows, same also shall he reap...' simply put, what you sow is what you'll reap.
Also, Proverbs 6:12 says 'Train up a child the way he should go and he will not depart from it when he grows up'. This means that the way you are raising your child is very important. You cannot afford to imbibe the luxury of some law that does not recognize what God who created conception and gave safe delivery tells you to do.
The truth is that God is not against discipline. I had earlier mentioned this in my last post. The fact that God is not against disciplinary action cannot be over emphasized. You cannot, however, afford to bring up your child in a hostile environment; otherwise he will not know the meaning of true love. Such a child will definitely grow up hating people and the society. But you must understand that bringing up a child in an atmosphere of true love includes discipline. This can be supported by Proverbs 13:23 which says 'withhold not correction from a child, for if thou beatest him with a rod he shall not die. Thou shalt beat him with a rod and deliver his soul from hell'. Also note that the reverse of this scripture is valid.
Do you really want your child to stop this folly? Then discipline him in love and stop that pampering now!
Are we as parents accountable to God concerning the children that He has given to us?
Unfortunately, most parents don't like to consider this aspect. Of course you must have heard this saying 'You've got your OWN life to live'. Notice that I have laid emphasis on the word 'own' to call your attention to the fact that some or most parents as the case may be feel unconcerned about what God thinks about the role they are supposed to play to make their children better members of the society.
On the other hand the above statement might be true but can you recall what happened to Eli (I Sam.3) when he failed to play the part that he was expected to play in the lives of his two sons? The result is that God cursed him and the priesthood was taken away from his lineage FOREVER. I will like you to pay serious attention to the fact that God is not partial; He is not a respecter of anybody. Gal.6:7 says 'Do not be deceived God is not mocked for whatsoever a man sows, same also shall he reap...' simply put, what you sow is what you'll reap.
Also, Proverbs 6:12 says 'Train up a child the way he should go and he will not depart from it when he grows up'. This means that the way you are raising your child is very important. You cannot afford to imbibe the luxury of some law that does not recognize what God who created conception and gave safe delivery tells you to do.
The truth is that God is not against discipline. I had earlier mentioned this in my last post. The fact that God is not against disciplinary action cannot be over emphasized. You cannot, however, afford to bring up your child in a hostile environment; otherwise he will not know the meaning of true love. Such a child will definitely grow up hating people and the society. But you must understand that bringing up a child in an atmosphere of true love includes discipline. This can be supported by Proverbs 13:23 which says 'withhold not correction from a child, for if thou beatest him with a rod he shall not die. Thou shalt beat him with a rod and deliver his soul from hell'. Also note that the reverse of this scripture is valid.
Do you really want your child to stop this folly? Then discipline him in love and stop that pampering now!
Monday, October 31, 2011
Godly Parenting
What is Godly Parenting?
I'll like to define Godly parenting as a method of child up bringing that focuses on God as the creator and giver of children and so has the sole wisdom to guide any parent aright in bringing up a child that will be useful to himself, his parents and the society at large.
Having said this, we should realise that we are in a time when children seem to be rebellious. They tend to feel that they are being chocked with 'dos and don'ts' of life.
The truth is if we as parents don't learn to study the word of God and seek for divine direction to guide these children aright, we may lose track of knowing the reason why they behave the way they do.
What steps should be taken?
(i) Put yourself in their shoes: Frankly, parents tends to forget that they were once children. So they tend to be too judgmental in there approach to every action taken by their children.
What do I mean by this? Let me give you this example: Imagine a parent that does not believe in education, this parent could feel that a child that is bent on getting educated at all cost is being rebellious. Why? because they do not understand the benefits that is attached to his desire.
(ii) Understand their feelings: We need to try to see things the way they see it and try as much as possible to correct them in love. Let's try not to be judgmental at every opportunity though we might be tempted.
(iii) Befriend Them: Are you friends with your children? or have you built a certain degree of fence consciously or unconsciously around yourself? Are you accommodating? Are you approachable? These are questions you need to answer sincerely.
(iv) Study their act: Not all children are alike. Even identical twins have their own individual behaviour. So please, in all you do, try not to compare your children with the Jones'. It is also not advisable to compare siblings.
(V) Do not forget to apply God's formula whenever necessary: What is God's formula? The book of Proverbs 13:24 says 'He that spareth his rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes'.
Also Proverbs 22:15 says 'Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child; but the rod of correction shall drive it far from him'. The truth is that, you did not purchase these children from some store or trade fair. God gave them to you. So please if God feels you should apply the cane sometimes kindly do so. Also note that you have to explain why the child has to be caned. I do it too and it has worked. But note that if you have applied the principle well, you will not have to use the cane when the child has pasted the age of 10 years.
In conclusion, you cannot give what you don't have so it is necessary to be well equipped with the ways of God through His words in order to raise Godly children.
Having said this, we should realise that we are in a time when children seem to be rebellious. They tend to feel that they are being chocked with 'dos and don'ts' of life.
The truth is if we as parents don't learn to study the word of God and seek for divine direction to guide these children aright, we may lose track of knowing the reason why they behave the way they do.
What steps should be taken?
(i) Put yourself in their shoes: Frankly, parents tends to forget that they were once children. So they tend to be too judgmental in there approach to every action taken by their children.
What do I mean by this? Let me give you this example: Imagine a parent that does not believe in education, this parent could feel that a child that is bent on getting educated at all cost is being rebellious. Why? because they do not understand the benefits that is attached to his desire.
(ii) Understand their feelings: We need to try to see things the way they see it and try as much as possible to correct them in love. Let's try not to be judgmental at every opportunity though we might be tempted.
(iii) Befriend Them: Are you friends with your children? or have you built a certain degree of fence consciously or unconsciously around yourself? Are you accommodating? Are you approachable? These are questions you need to answer sincerely.
(iv) Study their act: Not all children are alike. Even identical twins have their own individual behaviour. So please, in all you do, try not to compare your children with the Jones'. It is also not advisable to compare siblings.
(V) Do not forget to apply God's formula whenever necessary: What is God's formula? The book of Proverbs 13:24 says 'He that spareth his rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes'.
Also Proverbs 22:15 says 'Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child; but the rod of correction shall drive it far from him'. The truth is that, you did not purchase these children from some store or trade fair. God gave them to you. So please if God feels you should apply the cane sometimes kindly do so. Also note that you have to explain why the child has to be caned. I do it too and it has worked. But note that if you have applied the principle well, you will not have to use the cane when the child has pasted the age of 10 years.
In conclusion, you cannot give what you don't have so it is necessary to be well equipped with the ways of God through His words in order to raise Godly children.
Friday, August 21, 2009
Positive Pronouncements
In my last post, I promised to share my personal experience to buttress the fact that parenting actually starts from the inception of pregnancy.
Long before I got married, I have heard a lot of things about pregnancy, delivery, nursing e.t.c but one thing that frightened me most was the idea of having a breech delivery. I had earlier read in a best seller titled “Every Woman” that most babies present their heads during delivery but a few present other parts of the body. The easiest /safest presentation according to the author of the book is the cephalic (head) presentation. So when I got pregnant for the first time after my marriage to John, I immediately began to lay my hands on my tummy while making pronouncements.
What where the pronouncements?
The pronouncement were positive words mixed with faith, they were words like:
(i)Baby is it well with you in Jesus name
(ii)You will grow well in Jesus name
(iii)Whatever I take in through my mouth shall not hurt you in Jesus name
(iv)At the appointed time, you will come out alive, strong and healthy in Jesus name
(v)You will come out with your head and not with any other part of your body in Jesus name
(vi)You will fulfil your define destiny in Jesus name
(vii)Your father and I shall be alive strong and healthy to take good care of you as care takers in Jesus name.
(viii)And so on……..
By the time the baby began to kick, I noticed that we were able to interact more as I kept making positive pronouncement concerning him. You know what; John was not left out of this experience. It was a lovely experience, and by the time of delivery, the baby came out with his head, he was strong, alive and healthy even up till now, apart from the routine immunisation he was given, we have never had any cause to take him to the hospital for any form of treatment because he hardly falls sick, the same goes to his 4 other siblings.
Effect of Positive Pronouncements
Positive Pronouncements made and is still making a world of difference in the lives of my children. The truth is children will always be children but you don’t want to get angry with your children to the extent of calling them names or giving up on them. You just have to continue to say what you want them to become and you shall have it because the tongue carries a lot of power.
In my next post, I will be talking about Godly parenting which is the basis of serious parenting. The truth is that we did not create ourselves; neither did we create these children so the earlier we start taking parenting as a very serious assignment the better for us and the society at large.
Thursday, August 20, 2009
What is serious Parenting?
Hi, my name is Lola, am married to John and we are blessed with five children in thirteen years of marriage. I'll like to share with you abt serious parenting.
What is Serious Parenting?
Serious Parenting has to do with seriousness. When I say seriousness I mean seriousness. Let's start by taking a look at what the word "serious" means.
The word serious from the dictionary means "requiring thought, concentration, or application: a serious task. to be focused", . The opposite of the word serious is frivolous.
The next word we may want to consider is parenting? Parenting in my own opinion is the ability to carter for our children physically, spiritually, morally, financially, in short all round because we brought them into this world.
If we now look at serious parenting, we will see that is it that which is of importance, grave, critical, or sober calling and we cannot afford to take it for granted for the following reasons:
(1) Being a parent is a priviledge and not a right
(2) Believe it or not, we have to give an account to the creator one day concerning these gift(Children)
(3) Your input into their lives will either make or mare their lives/the society at large
(4) You have to look beyond just being called a mom or a dad
(5) Serious parenting must be total.
Do you know that if you train up a child the way to go, it is hard for him to depart from it when he grows up?
Do you also know that you have to balance up your act of parenting by being firm when you have to? Let your no be no, let your yes be yes.
When does parenting start?
Parenting starts as soon as you are pregnant. This is because you are carrying in your womb a living being that can feel, hear, respond e.t.c. In the light of this, placing your hands on the pregnancy and saying positive words over the baby in the womb is vey important.
In my next post, I'll be sharing a personal experience.
What is Serious Parenting?
Serious Parenting has to do with seriousness. When I say seriousness I mean seriousness. Let's start by taking a look at what the word "serious" means.
The word serious from the dictionary means "requiring thought, concentration, or application: a serious task. to be focused", . The opposite of the word serious is frivolous.
The next word we may want to consider is parenting? Parenting in my own opinion is the ability to carter for our children physically, spiritually, morally, financially, in short all round because we brought them into this world.
If we now look at serious parenting, we will see that is it that which is of importance, grave, critical, or sober calling and we cannot afford to take it for granted for the following reasons:
(1) Being a parent is a priviledge and not a right
(2) Believe it or not, we have to give an account to the creator one day concerning these gift(Children)
(3) Your input into their lives will either make or mare their lives/the society at large
(4) You have to look beyond just being called a mom or a dad
(5) Serious parenting must be total.
Do you know that if you train up a child the way to go, it is hard for him to depart from it when he grows up?
Do you also know that you have to balance up your act of parenting by being firm when you have to? Let your no be no, let your yes be yes.
When does parenting start?
Parenting starts as soon as you are pregnant. This is because you are carrying in your womb a living being that can feel, hear, respond e.t.c. In the light of this, placing your hands on the pregnancy and saying positive words over the baby in the womb is vey important.
In my next post, I'll be sharing a personal experience.
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